


tomorrow you won’t be mine

by twoghostsmolls



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Louis, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon Compliant, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotions, Feelings, Hiatus, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sad Louis, Sex, Sexual Tension, Smut, They’ll probably both annoy you, Top Harry, louis cries a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-25 23:23:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14987813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoghostsmolls/pseuds/twoghostsmolls
Summary: Louis and Harry were larry, until they broke up and weren’t. Years into the hiatus Louis finds himself in Philadelphia for a music festival, completely unaware that Harry has a show that night there too until fans start to freak out online. Louis has things to get off of his chest about their break up all those years ago and turns up to Harry’s concert without notice, leaving Harry in complete shock. Feelings overwhelm them both, leading to a night where they realise just how much they missed eachother...





	tomorrow you won’t be mine

**Author's Note:**

> Right. Hello? 
> 
> For those of you that don’t know, I wrote this prompt on twitter after Louis and Harry were known to be in the same City. It got quite a number or requests for me to write the full thing, so here it is. 
> 
> Title taken from ‘Love You Goodbye’ by One Direction — which you should know.

 It dawned on Louis that the day was closer to ending than beginning when he finally woke up from a jet-lagged sleep to see colours of orange and pink flooding into the room. From where he laid, a cream comforter wrapped around his shirtless torso, he had a perfect view out of the window that took up the whole wall.

 The sun was hiding behind some of the buildings that stood tall over the people in Philadelphia, ever so often breaking through; not bringing the city to darkness just yet. Louis was thankful, he felt as though he'd wasted his day in bed, though that was a common thing nowadays for him.

 "Morning sunshine!" A far too happy voice let out as a hand came from behind him to shake at shoulder. Louis almost jumped out of his skin as he turned to face the culprit, leaving his trail of thought behind.

 He wasn't used to waking up on his own, despite the years he'd been doing it for now. He always found himself craving the warmth of one person besides him; like it used to be.

 Calvin was not the person. Louis would of rather slept alone than have his best friend kicking out at him in his sleep. Louis was ready to leave and get another room just so he'd have a fair share of the covers for the next few nights they're visiting.

 "Can you not?" Louis' sleep deprived voice freaked out as Calvin attempted to peel the covers off of his dainty body. One arm shot up to his face as the other defending his lower region from Calvin's swinging hands.

 "Come on, Louis! The night is still young."

 "The festival doesn't start till tomorrow." His voice was muffled by his arm, yet he made no move to remove it. He wanted to sleep whilst he could, he'd need all his energy for the weekend Calvin had forced him to attend.

 "But there's some bars we need to scout out tonight, mate! Best make some friends whilst we can too. Some of them might keep the weekend entertaining and who knows, maybe you'll find yourself a distraction..."

 Slowly and reluctantly, he uncovered his face. He blinked, closed his eyes and blinked again. Calvin and his bloody distractions. He sat up and dragged his feet off the bed at the same time his knuckles came to rub at his eyes.

 He didn't dare look at Calvin. He never did we they were talking about his 'distractions', it was the best way to not let the truth get to him. Instead, his eyes stayed on his legs as they hovered over the hotel room carpet; clad in his black tracksuit bottoms with his signature cross eyed smiley face on the pocket.

 "I don't need distractions. We've been over this far too many times." Louis rolled his eyes

 "Fine, call them whatever you want," Calvin said as the bed dipped behind Louis, the weight soon going as his friend stood up. "interruptions, complications, disturbances, interferences, diversions—"

 "Calvin, they're literally all just other words for distractions. Just please stop it, okay?"

 "Sorry I'm looking out for you." Calvin shrugged as he stood in front of the window, looking out of it with his hands in some LT tracksuit bottoms of his own.

 Louis let out a deep sigh as his toes wiggled their ways into the carpet and he stood up. "I know you are, Cal... but I know what I want, and they're not distractions."

 "You know what you tell yourself you want... and even then you restrict yourself. When was the last time you actually did something because you wanted to? Not me, not one of your sisters- not that management of yours."

 Sometimes, what people need is to avoid what they over all wanted. That applied to Louis. What he wanted wasn't an option.

 "I- I don't actually know." Louis whispered as it dawned on him, his gaze dropping from the outside world to his chewed up nails. He just wanted to please everyone, whether that was his family or his friends or his fans, he wanted them to be happy. "I guess I just don't care about myself... maybe that's the problem."

 "Now we're getting somewhere, brother. That right there is what you call emotions." Calvin laughed, pushing lightly on Louis' shoulder. "I haven't seen those since- eh never mind..."

 Louis knew exactly what he was talking about, despite it being years ago he also knew his best friend was right. "Yeah, well, I haven't exactly felt them since then either." He nodded with a sad smile. The pain it caused to even think of him hurt, but he'd rather be hurt than his thoughts he replaced by anybody else.

 Perhaps that's what happen when you fall in love too young and too fast, you don't see the end coming until it happens; and even then it doesn't feel as though it's real. 

 "What do you say we hit the night life, then? Just you and me, you call shots tonight."

 "Yeah, that sounds nice."

 "You know what they say, when in Philadelphia." Calvin smirked, going to his bag to get some fresh clothes out before heading towards the bathroom. "Look up some good places to go and see what you fancy!” 

 "No one says that!" Louis called out just as the bathroom door clicked to a close, a small smile playing on his lips as he spotted his phone across the hotel room. When he grabbed it from it's charging spot he threw himself down onto the large couch in one of the corners.

 If Louis was nineteen again, fresh to the stardom and all expensive things, he would've been afraid to simply sit in case he wrinkled the fabric or stained it with something. Now, he knew he had enough money to pay for anything broken beyond repair.

 The couch he was spread out on was cream, much like the rest of the hotel's interior, but lined with pillows of a fine cranberry coloured silk. The white curtains were linen, the kind of white that seems as though it goes untouched by hands and avoids all dust. Louis simply couldn't help himself when he reached out to fiddle with it as he unlocked his phone.

 He didn't know what he was looking for exactly. Calvin usually did all the organising whilst Louis followed along with a fear of missing out, yet not enjoying it anyway.

 When a search on google didn't supply him with what he needed he turned to Twitter. He'd been MIA for weeks — the only tweets he'd been getting recently were asking where he and his album were (which was almost ready), so when he opened the app he didn't expect his notifications to be too much to handle like they were whenever he was online.

 He was wrong.  

 The moment he clicked the blue logo it crashed and threw him back out. He tried again, just as Calvin came bouncing out of the bathroom, radiating energy Louis didn't have. Only, the same problem occurred.

 "What?" He mumbled out of confusion to himself as he checked if it needed updating in the App Store. Yet, nothing there too.

 "You alright?" Calvin asked, sensing something was wrong by the way Louis' brows were pulled together and his lip was popped out, as he worked a toothbrush in his mouth.

 "My twitters not working, was gonna look at some places to go tonight on there." Louis shrugged, locking his phone and chucking it besides him on the couch.

 "Here," Calvin threw his phone in Louis' direction, which he caught. "probably those fans of yours blowing it up again."

 "They have no reason to be," Louis said, putting in Calvin's passcode which he knew without thinking. "I haven't been active or spotted or anything in weeks- oh." 

 "What?"

 "Shit, Cal."

 "What, did a girl text me?"

 "No." Louis stared down at the phone as he scrolled through his best friends own twitter notifications. "Much worse..."

 "Did an angry girl text me?"

 "No, Cal, fuck." Louis stood up and shoved the phone in his friends hand before walking over to the other side of the room and frustratedly running his hands through his hair, not able to stand still. "Just, read it!" 

 "That's not a bad picture of me." Calvin said as he looked down at his phone with a grin, inspecting the image someone had taken of him and Louis together at Philadelphia's airport. "So, what's the big deal? We got a picture taken of us, maybe the night will be more fun now your fans are gonna hunt us down for a few pictures."

 Louis let out an annoyed grunt, coming up to his best friend and shaking the arm in which he held the phone. "No, Calvin, read it!"

 "Okay, 'Louis and his friend are in'-"

 "Not out loud you idiot." Louis moaned as he sunk to then floor, landing harshly on his knees, voice cracking on his last words.

 "Harry's here?" Calvin whispered.

 Just his name being spoken out loud for Louis to hear knocked the breath out of his lungs, his heart beginning to break all over again.  

 He hadn't heard it since that cold and gloomy night they'd broken up, what felt like so long ago. He'd banned his family and friends from ever mentioning him. Not because he hated him, he could never, but because if he stopped to talked about Harry and dwell for even a fraction of a second, his face would be instantly wet with tears; tears that Louis only allowed for him bedroom pillow to catch.

 It reminds him just how much he misses Harry, despite how badly he'd ripped his heart out of his chest. He missed everything. His terrible jokes; his running commentary; the snorts he'd make when he laughed too hard; the things he'd whisper to Louis when it was just them; even his ridiculous collections of the most random items of clothing.

 He missed Harry. The ache of longing to be with him echoed through the very marrow of Louis bones at a constant speed. Only, when he allowed himself to think about Harry or hear how he was doing it only got worse.

_Why did Harry just leave?_

 "Harry's here." He confirmed, his name being even harder to say, it once sounded so exotic coming out of Louis' mouth — especially during those moments he'd never forget where skin would touch skin and they'd be happy — now it just didn't sound right at all.

 "I'm sorry Louis I didn't know."

 "It's fine." Louis couldn't help the sniffle that left his nose as he tried to contain himself. "I'm okay, knowing he's here doesn't affect me."

 "Really?" Calvin asked, crouching down in front of Louis and speaking in a hushed tone. He though he was closed up enough for no one to suspect anything, but Calvin just knew. "It's okay if you're not, he was your first love and I know things ended kind of badly." 

 _First love as well as the last_ , Louis thought. He was never going to let anyone in again the way he did with Harry. He was too scared.

 Maybe Harry had distanced himself to save himself from Louis and his unlovable traits.

 "Yes, things ended badly but I'm fine." Louis lied, pushing himself up off the floor and placing a hand on the wall for balance and reassurance that if he suddenly passed out it was there. He wiped the growing tears away as Calvin pushed himself up too.

 "We can talk about it if it helps... I think that's what I'm supposed to say right about now."

 "Cal honestly I'm fine." He fakes a smile, one that wasn't good enough to trick his friend into thinking he was stable. He hadn't been since Harry left him. He'd never be again.

 "Okay, well I'm here if you do wanna talk about anything, you know? Your management, doing this solo thing, the stunts... Harry."

 "Cal I said I'm fine." Louis tried to laugh, instead triggering his bottom lip to pop out as he turned away and wiped at his face. "I'm gonna go get ready, we can find somewhere to go when we're out of here. I need air."

 Louis made a dash for his suitcase, chucking on an old Rolling Stones t-shirt that may or may not have once belonged to a smaller Harry. He then pulled out some tracksuit type bottoms that his management were certain would 'fit his style' as they once told.

 Just as he was about to discard of the bottoms he had on, Calvin cleared his throat, grabbing Louis' attention to see he was already staring at him with his arms crossed and tight lips.

 "What now Cal? I just wanna get some drinks and get in the mood for this weekend." Louis sighed as he hopped out of his bottoms and stood in his black boxer briefs.

 "Louis, you know they think your going to the show tonight, right? To support him." Calvin spoke softly, as if not to harm Louis.

 "Why would they think that? They know he hasn't spoken to any of us since the band." Technically, Louis didn't know if that was true, but he definitely hadn't spoken to Louis. He was petty about it  

 "Because there's some people who still have faith that through everything you've both made it out of it together, hand in hand, in love."

 Louis' movement halted. One leg was in his bottoms and the other was out. The words hit him at full speed, going straight to all his sensitive spots. He wishes those people were right, but being in love is a lie.

 "Why did you say that?" Louis' bottom lip trembled as he slipped his other leg in and turned away from Calvin. He felt his cheeks dampen and soon there was no hiding the fact that he was crying like a baby. 

 "Louis, I'm sorry..."

 "I did so well." Louis sighed through the waterworks. "It wasn't supposed to get to me anymore, but here you are watching me cry over someone who doesn't love me anymore, whose forgotten about me."

 He was being pathetic. He knew he was over reacting; but after everything and the amount of times he'd put off his emotions he figured he'd deserve to let go just this once. It’s not that his world fell apart without Harry, it’s that his world fell apart without the feeling of being loved.

 "Listen, Louis, what do you wanna do? We can stay here if you want, rent a movie? I'll even watch grease again if it'll make you happy?"

 "No." Louis shook his head. "I- I wanna go out, I can't be in here any longer I can't breathe."

 "Okay, where are we going?" 

 Louis took a look at himself in the mirror as he combed a hand through his hair. He took in how much of mess he looked with his flushed red cheeks, the pain in his eyes and the hatred he had for himself. He took in how much of a mess he allowed himself to be over someone who he shouldn't be thinking about, over someone who never even gave Louis a reason for breaking up with him.

 "Well Calvin, maybe I don't need a distraction like you've been going on about. Maybe I just need an end to the thing that's been bugging me for years." Louis smiled at his reflection, a new confidence taking over that Louis hadn't seen since he was nineteen.

 "Louis-" 

 "How do you feel about a bit of music tonight, Calvin?" Louis picked up a jacket that was hanging by the door and pulled it over his shirt. He took a deep breath. "Perhaps a Harry Styles concert?"

 "Louis, no, you're not thinking rationally here. You'll regret this if it all comes back to bite you on the arse one day." Calvin said strictly.

 "You said you'd let me choose where we're going. Now, I'm going to the venue and I'm going to get backstage and talk to Harry, you can come or you can stay here."

 "Do you even know where it is?" Calvin asked as Louis sat on the edge of the bed with his vans in his hands and sliding them onto his feet before bringing his knees up to his chest and tying the laces. "What are you even gonna say to him? That if you even get in too!"

 "I saw the location when I was on twitter and I'm going to ask him why he broke up with me so I don't live the rest of my life wondering what I did so wrong." Louis shrugged, grabbing his key card from the bedside table, then turning back to Calvin. "Cal, this is me doing something I want to do. Are you coming?"

 "You think I'd let you do this alone?"Calvin smirked and Louis simply smiled at him, genuinely for what felt like the first time that day — possibly that week or even month — as he held the door open.

 With each stride down the hallway his mind agreed with him and then disagreed with him. What if it did all go to shit? What if he got there and couldn't get his words out? Then, abruptly pausing to close his eyes and take in a deep breath of hotel air, he steeled himself to only think of positive things from then on. 

—

 It appeared as though Harry's security wasn't aware that he and Louis weren't on speaking terms and that Harry probably wouldn't want him anywhere near the venue anyway. When they let Louis and Calvin fly through the doors to the backstage area a few hours before the show at only the mention of his name and that he was once a part of One Direction, Louis couldn't help but be surprised. He didn't expect to get this far; his brain suddenly acting rationally and telling him to leave as it dawned on him that he was going to be facing Harry for the first time in just under three years.

 He hadn't been backstage at a show since the last concert he played with the boys, the crowds of workers holding cameras and papers and beauty products flowing like a river in all different directions, trying to do last minute preparations — he oddly didn't miss it.

 Calvin pulled on Louis' arm, bringing him to a quiet corner out the way of everyone. "Alright, we're in," he whispered. "now what?"

 "Now I go to his dressing room and wait for him." Louis shrugged as the sound of instruments played over speakers with female voices singing along occasionally.

 Harry's band sound checking, no doubt.

 "What if he doesn't show up?"

 Louis knew Harry, despite how much he'd rather he didn't. He knew that Harry liked to be alone in his dressing room in preparation for any show they played, Louis couldn't imagine he'd changed such a tradition.

 Then again, Louis also didn't know Harry at all. Not this Harry — the person he'd see people comparing to Bowie on twitter before he could look away, wearing these extravagant suits on stage every night.

 Louis couldn't deny the amount of times he'd giving into his weaknesses when he couldn't sleep late at night, ending up on update pages about Harry just to see if he was doing okay. Of course he was though, it was Louis that hurt.

 "He'll be there, I know he will."

 "Okay, then let's go." Calvin nodded to a corridor, where the words 'dressing rooms' hung amongst light bulbs, signalling the way.

 "Actually," Louis pulled his bottom lip between his finger and his thumb. "could you stay here? I just feel like I'll be able to get everything out better if I'm alone, you know?"

 "Yeah." Calvin nodded, patting Louis on the shoulder. "Good luck, I'll be stuffing my face at catering when you're ready to leave."

 Louis couldn't help the deep gulp. Just stepping closer to the corridor and away from Calvin, who smiled at him reassuringly, made his breathing rapid and shallow. He could feel his pulse pounding in his temples. His nails were already bitten down to the skin. He nibbled at their frayed edges like a famished mouse. Soon he'd bleed. Cold sweat glistened on his furrowed brow.

 He moved his hands to clasp tightly in front of his stomach, constantly fiddling with his knuckles, weaving his fingers in and out of each other as he approached the first door down the corridor. As he spotted a piece of paper taped to the door with a name on it that wasn’t  Harry's he was relieved he still had some time to himself before things went crashing.

 He kept walking past more solid oak wood doors, feet dragging along the concrete floor. _Mitch, Adam, Sarah, Clare,_ not Harry.

 Louis noted that he was approaching the last door, right at the end of course; away from all the chaos and usual backstage shenanigans. He should of guessed it was Harry's and not checked any of the other. He reached his hand up to the back of his neck as his eyes locked on the paper taped on. _Harry Styles_.

 A clock ticking nearby seemed to get louder (as did his heartbeat), counting all the time he was wasting away by just standing there.

 He found himself wondering what suit Harry would be wearing inside. What colour would it be? Would it be a statement? Would it be plain, yet he'd work it? Would it be custom Gucci, of whom Harry was apparently part of a campaign with? Or would he wear one of them outfits that added with his personality made him appear as Prince Charming?

 His shaky hand grabbed onto the rusted doorknob as he rested his sagging body on the doorframe. He was ready to take off, he'd got this far, that was enough for today. He tried to persuade himself that all he needed was to stand here, that all he wanted was to be able to be in the same building as Harry. Yet, as he took a shuddering breath and gathered his strength, he realised that he'd never get this opportunity again, he'd never get to hear the reasons for his heartbreak and he'd never be able to get over it if he didn’t confront him.

 This was his only chance.

 Standing up straight and rolling his shoulders, he twisted the doorknob and pushed lightly, not wanting to startle anyone inside.

 The frustration built as he was met with darkness and an empty room, the only light coming from a candle lit on a coffee table. He was ready to explode, but instead he took a deep breath. He wanted to shout, have a tantrum and beat his hands on the ground like a toddler. He wanted to vent at Harry, he was ready to. He'd got so worked up from standing outside that he was boiling with anger at the lack of curls and Gucci suits in the room.

 The door was unlocked, but no one was inside. It was just Louis' luck and the universes way of telling him he deserved every bit of pain; that he'll never get to know why Harry caused it. Harry had led him on again without even knowing, and again Louis was broken.

 "You dick!" Louis let out as he took a few steps into the room and kicked at nothing on the floor. Fresh tears had dripped down his face, he could feel his cheeks heating up by the second. Louis had always told him not to leave his dressing room unlocked, Harry was just too trusting of those he didn't know, at risk of something being stolen. He'd ended up correct, his hopes being the thing to disappear.

 "Louis, honey, is that you?" A voice came from the doorway. Louis' body froze at her sweat voice, he would of laughed at the posh accent she was trying out if things were different. Her words were always full of love for everyone, much like her sons once were for him.

 "Anne?" Louis whispered as he slowly turned around to face her, she wasn't the person he was expecting. Just moments ago he was full of anger and hatred, but Anne had always had a calming affect on Louis. She was once like a second mum to him, as well as his own mothers best friend.

 The soft light flooding in from the corridor created an angel effect around her, it applied to her role in Louis' life perfectly, perhaps she was exactly what Louis needed at that moment. Someone stable who could talk him out of the mess he had gotten himself into.

 "Louis sweetie," she spoke softly as the light in the room flickered on and Louis winced at the sting in his eyes which he wiped at immediately. "what are you doing here?"

 What was he doing here? He'd been thinking so irrationally that he realised he wasn't ready to act on the reason he came here after all. Seeing Harry would ruin him.

 "I have to go." Louis mumbled to himself, shaking his head and looking around the room to see if he'd made any mess in his entry.

 "No, Lou, stay! I'm sure Harry and Gemma would be happy to see you." Anne said.

 "Gem's here too?" He asked, brows furrowed together. She was someone he used to team up with against Harry, someone who could make him laugh. Someone who he'd once called a friend, who probably hated him all that time for ever getting in Harry's way of happiness.

 He had to find Calvin and leave.

 "Yes, we figured we'd give Harry some company on the road for a while. I know he had his band now but he must be lonely without the rest of his boys with him."

 If he couldn't face Harry and ask him about their break up at least he could find out one thing, here and now. "Does he talk to them?"

 She nodded her head slowly and that was all Louis needed for his eyes to wet again. "He's texted with Liam and Zayn quite a bit and last I know he called Niall the other night to check up on how his tours going."

 He hadn't had one message in three years. Knowing he spoke to the other boys still and regularly only hurt more.

 His blue eyes looked as if an ocean had been captured within small glass marbles. They soon appeared to be cracked; the ocean starting to leak, little water droplets streaming down.

 Anne reached out on instinct to hold Louis in her arms. He appreciated it, but someone else being there to see him cry only made the tears flow more as the embarrassment came too.

 He was so weak.

 Laughter in the corridor broke the silence. Two familiar laughs. One of which could destroy him if he saw the smile it came with.

 "Mum, tell Gemma to quit touching my hair I don't wanna make my stylist-"

 "Louis?" Gemma let out, sounding far more excited that he'd expected as he broke free of Anne with an arm on her back and turned around to face the two new comers.

 "Hey, Gem." He sniffed away the tears.

 He wasn't sure why he was crying now, whether it was because he was actually here and Harry was in front of him, or because he was seeing some of the people he called family after so long.

 How was it possible she got prettier? Louis remembered being jealous of her beauty the first time they met, that feeling hadn't changed. Her hair was no longer blonde, instead a gorgeous brown of the same shoulder length as his sister Lottie’s. She'd aged, but in the best way possible. A new sense of maturity glowed off of her in her summer dress.

 He recalled Lottie telling him about Gemma's long term boyfriend, maybe that has something to do with the way she was glowing. Happiness suited her.

 "Oh my god!" She screamed, Harry's nose scrunching up as Louis didn't take his eyes off of him. He always found that a struggle.

 Wordlessly, Gemma practically sprinted over to him with opened arms in invitation, Louis flinging himself into the embrace with a silenced sob. He allowed himself to close his eyes for a second and imagine that everything way different as he buried his face into Gemma's strawberry scented hair.

 "What are you doing here?" She said, holding on tighter as if Louis would pull away from her. Louis didn't want to let go either, ever.

 He opened his eyes, ready to give a stupid answer like 'oh I was just in the area' instead of the real reason, but the moment he looked up his eyes locked with green ones and all words left his mouth. He refused to look away, even as his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down.

 His dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears; his hands shakily clenching around Gemma's clothes. A lone tear traced down his cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened.

 "I'm- here to talk to Harry, actually."

 He wept, tears streaming from his deep blue eyes, loud, heaving sobs tearing from his throat, and still he did not look away. He wanted Harry to see the pain he caused.

 "Louis," Gemma said, pulling away from Louis and placing one hand on his shoulder, the other one wiping away the tears under his eyes with her thumb. "is everything okay?"

 "I just had a few questions." Louis sighed, lifting his jacket's sleeve to his face and making an effort with Gemma to wipe away the sadness. "It won't take too long."

 "What about?" She asked. Louis knew she wasn't being nosy, she was concerned if anything. It's not everyday your brothers ex boyfriend shows up to his concert and breaks down in your arms.

 Louis couldn't bring himself to tell them though, as much as Harry had hurt him he didn't know what he'd told his family about the break up. The might of thought it was mutual. Harry might of put all the blame on Louis. He couldn't make them argue just before Harry had to go on stage. He wasn't cruel.

 "Just, some stuff about the hiatus, I would've texted him but I lost all my contacts and I was in the area."

 Lie after lie. Louis felt wrong.

 "Gem, why don't we let them talk? I think the girls want you to help them with their eyeliner." Anne interrupted.

 "Oh, right." She said, looking between Harry, Louis and then her mum. "Yeah, lets go."Anne began to lead her out, but not before she turned around quickly, next to Harry now. She smiled, "I'll see you after the show?"

 "Um-" Louis' mouth opened and snapped closed again. He knew the answer was no, he was going to leave as soon as possible, but he didn't like the thought of letting her down. "Sure, if it's okay that I stick around?"

 "Of course it's okay, you're family." Gemma shrugged. "I'll go get a seat reserved for you on the wing. See you then, Lou."

 She patted Harry's shoulder as a goodbye, him nodding to both her and their mum. Soon, it was just the two of them on either side of the room that felt like the walls were caving in. Louis had never had claustrophobia, but now, with Harry invading all his senses, he was ready to have a break down about the little space that was separating them.

 A heavy silence settled over them, thicker than the uneasy tension in the atmosphere. Both of their eyes glanced rapidly around, trying to avoid catching the glance of the other.

 It was then Louis spotted Harry reaching for the door, he was ready to scream out 'please don't go' but Harry took him by surprise and slowly closed it, turning the lock.

 There was no escaping now.

 Louis felt painfully out of place here, like a pepperoni that had mistakenly made its way onto a vegetarian pizza. Everyone was so good looking, dressed above the standards.

 His eyes scanned over Harry's entire being. He'd most definitely gotten taller. His arms were bulging now, decorated in tattoos that Louis once spent time worshiping. They looked tiny on his muscles, the ship once taking up his whole upper arm, but now only a small fraction of it. He too had aged, also in a good way. He'd lost the look of a child, his body must of been carved to the gods now he’d lost all that baby fat. Louis only hoped he still had his luscious love handles, sad at the fact he'd never get to see or touch them again.

 His long locks were abandoned, yet the hair on his head was still a fluffy mess, but not as curly as it was when Louis first fell in love with him. It was pushed back off of his face by some sunglasses, framing his head and cared for skin like a picture. No matter how much Louis hated him he could never deny that he was the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

 "No suit?" He broke the silence. It took Harry by shock as he looked down at his mint t-shirt with a beach boys logo in the corner and trousers that made him look — in Louis’ honest opinion — like an old man, as if he hadn't realised himself.

 "No," his voice was deep and he spoke slowly like he did when he was being careful. "I mean, yes, but I'm changing into it in a bit."

 "What you wearing? Heard you're a Gucci model now." Louis attempted a bitter smile. The small talk was full of awkwardness as it left his mouth.

 Harry crosses his arms and chuckled slightly. "I guess you could say that." He then nodded over to where a bunch of suits Louis hadn't noticed before were hanged up. "I was thinking of wearing that sparkly purple one with the low cut shirt underneath."

 Louis remembers Harry not being able to wear low cut shirts because of the marks that would litter from his neck down to his hips.

 He nodded his head at Harry's choice, not in a position to tell him he liked the white jacket with the black bottoms and turtle neck hung up next to it better. It wasn't what he was here for anyway. He turned back to Harry to find him staring at him, just as he licked his lips.

 "Hi, Lou."

 "Hello Harold." Louis nervously whispered back. He hated the tense feeling that filled the void in his heart and the silence in the room.

 Harry cautiously moved towards him, Louis' heart speeding up ever more. He was sure it would leave a dent in his chest.

 Slowly, Harry took steady steps closer and closer and pulled Louis to him, wrapping his arms around his body. Louis noted then that he had most definitely grown taller and more muscular. His embrace was warm like always, and his big, strong arms still seemed protective when wrapped around Louis' frail body. The world around him melted away as he squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end.

 Yet, like all good things; it had to.

 "Haz, I'm not here to talk about the hiatus." Louis said, hands on Harry's biceps as he made some space between them.

 "Yeah I didn't think you were," Harry stuck his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat. "what's brought you here then?"

 "I... can I sit down?" He asked, eyes on the black crushed velvet sofa besides a dressing table full of Harry's usual products.

 "Yes, sure, do you want something to drink?" Harry pointed over his shoulder to the mini fridge. "I got my hands on some of those beers you like from back home in London. Or there's some wine in here somewhere that I normally sip on with Mitch before shows but..."

 Home. The one word made his eyes widen as he zoned out from what Harry was saying. Normally Harry was home, but this all just felt so forced and so wrong.

 Harry looked at him like a stranger, yet worse. Instead of the person he claimed he loved for so long he sees nothing more than someone his has to force an act of kindness with.

 He wasn't the same Harry he fell for. He wasn't the same Harry whose virginity he took. He wasn't the same Harry who smiled because he wanted to and not because he was putting on a show. Harry wasn't his Harry anymore.

 They really were strangers. Louis' hate broke the strongest love he had ever held for someone. Both the feeling and the person he would never be able to have again.

 "Louis?"

 "Yeah?" Louis' head was a mess, but he was trying to act as though he was okay, regardless. "Oh, I'd like some of that wine please."

 "It's red, is that alright?"

 Louis nodded absentmindedly, he didn't care. He just needed to say what he was there to say and leave. His determination never seemed to get the best of him though as he kept putting it off. He stayed silent, wondering why he was finding it so hard.

 "I thought you weren't a wine drinker?" Harry laughed, the familiar sound tugging on Louis' heartstrings. He was going to die of a heart attack any moment if he carried on letting himself be so vulnerable.

 Harry got two plastic red cups out of a shopping bag, mumbling something about not being allowed glass incase he broke it in his klutzy state. Louis didn't care much as long as he got alcohol in his system.

  _Don't be so vulnerable. Bite back._

 "Yeah, well," Louis finally sat down on the sofa, realising after too long that he'd been staring into space, having not moved from his spot. Harry unscrewed the lid from the probably expensive bottle of wine somewhere in the room, the sound of liquid pouring into the cups soon filling the silence. _Bite back. Don't be vulnerable._ "a lot can change in three years Harry. It has been three years since you dumped me, right?"

 The pouring stopped, but Louis didn't dare look up from his hands — which he had to pretend were more fascinating that whatever the look was on Harry's face.

 After a moment the pouring was back, Harry began to speak, but not before clearing a lump of what Louis hoped was guilt from his throat. "So, that's why you're here then?"

 "I guess so." Louis shrugged.

 The pouring stopped again and the bottle was placed on the table with a dramatic force. The sudden outburst made Louis' head snap up. Harry had his back to him, arms spread on either side of the counter as he hung his head.

  _Good, feel something,_ Louis thought.

 "And you choose to do it now?" Harry suddenly turned around and Louis didn't have enough time to look away, instead raising to his own feet without a second though. "Right before I have to go on stage? Where I have to go and entertain people whose only hope of happiness may be coming to one of my shows?" He was accusing Louis of things, but the whole point in Louis being here was for it to be the other way around. "You're so fucking selfish!"

 "That is hilarious coming from you!" He said in mock astonishment. "You are fucking selfish, Harry Styles, for dropping everything, including me, to become this solo rockstar who is nothing like the person I once knew."

 "A lot changes in three years, Louis." He spat his earlier words back at him, shaking with fury. He took a step away from Louis, but he only got closer. He was only just getting started on what an arrogant prick Harry was. "I can't do this right now, I can't do this ever."

 "Well would you look at that, you haven't changed after all, have you?" Louis' voice croaked out. His eyes boiled with fresh tears of pure anger. "Escaping yet again when things get too hard for you to handle, not like you've done that to me before, oh wait-"

 "Louis!" Harry attempted to interrupt him as he invaded his space, forgetting the distance between them and leaving them with little as he looked down slightly at Louis and shook his head.

 "-you did! The man you were, the one I fell in love with, would have kicked your arse for the way you just abandoned me and took my heart with you." He scoffed. _Don’t hold back_. "Maybe it would've been easier on my heart if you'd of given me something to hold onto, like a fake hope or a beautiful lie, maybe then things would've gone differently. Maybe then I wouldn't be fucking ruined. But no, you didn't give me anything, did you?"

 "What are you on about?" Harry provoked, still in Louis' face. "You've over reacted about this whole situation like you over react about everything! Did you ever think about how I was feeling through all of this, Louis?"

 Louis clutched onto Harry's t-shirt in front of him and tried his best to shake some sense into the boy that wasn't thinking straight. "Why did you leave me Harry? Why didn't you ever give me any reason? Why did I never here from you again? I've been trying to figure it all out but I'm stumped. I don't even want to try anymore because it makes me feel even more unwanted and annoying and it made me afraid that was all I'd ever be. I want to know why, it's what I deserve after all of this time-"

 "Jesus, I was scared, okay?" Harry hesitated as he pulled Louis' hands off of his t-shirt. "Are you happy now? I was scared of everything going on with that band and us. I still am."

 Louis knew exactly what and who Harry was on about. It was all too much for him too, but he would never of let it get in the way of being with Harry. That was the whole reason they had to do stunts that ended up tearing them apart anyway, to be together, because they were once in love and would do anything for that to never have to change.

 Then, with the band, after Zayn's departure everything just started falling apart. They knew when he left that it was the start of the end, but why did Harry inevitably hurry that along by looking for solo contracts before they'd even announced an official break up?

 He'd finally gotten answers to the questions he'd been longing to be explained forever, yet he still felt a sense of numbness as they came with more questions with a need to be answered. It didn't give him the relief that he wanted, it only upset him more to know that Harry was battling his own demons and didn't once turn to Louis for help and reassurance that everything was going to work out.

 "We were supposed to be in it together," Louis' lips wobbled as he spoke and his face scrunched up to prevent the tears. "you promised me before we got into any of the contracts and stunts that we'd both only sign if we would give it our all and have each other through everything good and bad."

 "There was no good though in the end." Harry ran his hand through his hair, which Louis only then noticed had been removed of sunglasses, as he threw himself down on the sofa and covered his eyes. "It was the hardest decision I'd ever made in my life to leave you and eventually the band, but I would do it over and over again if it meant we'd be happy."

 "I was happy with you." Louis whimpered as he lowered himself to sit besides him, he shook his head and turned to face the boy. "Harry, look at me, do I look happy now to you?"

 He could only imagine what he looked like from Harry's eyes as the boy pealed his hands away from his face and sat up slightly. His eyes were stinging, indicating that they were rimmed a throbbing red from the constant flow of tears. His face felt hot and blotchy. He knew his hair was a mess from the amount of times he'd pulled on it out of stress. He couldn't keep his face still as he subconsciously attempted to stop his nose from running by sniffing every two seconds. His lips wouldn't stop trembling as he looked at Harry whose face wasn't giving away how he was feeling at all. He was the definition of a mess, whilst Harry stayed looking like he'd come from the heavens.

 He was drowning in his messy thoughts and he didn't know whether he wanted to be rescued or just give up.

 "You look as beautiful as always." Harry said, bringing a hand up to Louis' wet cheek and rubbing his thumb under his eye.

 Harry's words took him by surprise. He didn't think anybody looked at him and thought he looked like anything other than a complete mess.

 "But do I look happy?" Louis gently spoke, an attempted sad smile on his face that soon turned to a wobbly frown as Harry shook his head and closed his eyes.

 "I never meant to hurt you." Harry's voice finally broke as little sniffs left his nose. "You were supposed to get the best outcome from all of this. You wouldn't have to do stunts anymore and you could get out of that contract that's been restraining us all for years. I did it with the best intentions," he reflected, head in his hands now. "I just don't know how it all ended up going to shit for you."

 "I know how." Louis shrugged halfheartedly as he gulped down what felt like his food from his flight coming to surface. "It's as if all that love I had for you became pain because I was so angry at you for leaving me. Pain became fear because you leaving made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you, good enough for anyone, and the fear ended up creating a hatred against love strong enough to ruin me."

 "I'm so sorry." His eyes screamed deep shame as he looked up to apologise. Louis saw his jaw clench and unclench as he grimaced. "These days the word sorry is so meaningless and overused. Saying sorry doesn't fix the heartbreak I caused. Sorry is just a word, but it's one I am ready to use to beg you for your forgiveness. I didn't mean any of this."

 Tears dripped off of Louis' chin, silent ones that didn't bring sobs, instead causing his insides to twist and turn. He couldn't help the whimper of pain that left his tight throat. It's all he could manage to get out.

 He didn't expect to come here and forgive Harry. He was looking for an argument, he wanted to finally let his emotions show and wanted to walk out the venue with his head held high, Harry out of his mind for good.

 Things never did go to plan what it came to Louis and Harry. They'd been through so much together, faced so many battles and had so many arguments in their later years. Louis didn't miss those. With those came some of the happiest moments of Louis’ life, though, and with those Harry was always there too.

 There was a time they had a fight that almost resulted in a break up. It was during one of their earlier tours, Louis couldn't remember exactly when or what city they were in at the time. All he remembered was that he was being stubborn about Harry being seen with all different women, he was the one ready to flee at that moment, but Harry persuaded him to stay. Harry was the one to keep them together then. Why didn't he make any effort when they broke up? Why couldn't Louis of been the one to persuade Harry to stay?

 "Forgive me." Harry's voice rippled softly through his thoughts as his fingers wound their way to the back of Louis' neck, running his fingers through the little hair there.

 Louis curled his own fingers into the palm of his hand, not even feeling them dig in. He didn't know what to do, he felt even most deserted from the person he once used to be — before he arrived in Philadelphia.

 He missed the happy moments. He missed morning cuddles and breakfast in bed. He missed Harry trying to impress him all the time; though there was no need to, Louis fell so hard and so fast that Harry had to make no effort and he'd still act like a school boy experiencing his first ever crush. He missed having the same power over Harry. One where he could get him all worked up that all Louis had to do was ask and Harry obeyed.

 He missed the sex and everything in between. He missed the feeling of Harry's soft and plump lips on his own lips and all over his body. He missed the raw emotion that they both put into it in the middle of the night or early in the morning. He missed the marks they'd stain each other with out of possessiveness. He missed sneaking around as if their sex life was a secret to the other boys. He missed claiming kisses around corners where no one could see them. He missed how passionate Harry was in bed, always whispering dirty things into Louis' ears as Louis got overwhelmed by Harry's movements inside of him.

 He missed everything. He missed the the feeling of being held. He missed falling asleep being the little spoon but somehow waking up in the morning as the big one. He missed running his fingers through Harry's curls. He missed the way that striking green eyes would stare at him from across the stage, the two of them sharing small smiles at each other.

 He missed Harry. He missed _them_.

 "F- friends?" Louis mumbled, the unsureness clear in his voice. He didn't want to be just friends with Harry, he never was, even when they first met on the X Factor.

 Being friends was better than not having Harry in his life again. Being friends was better than getting the feeling of being turned down all over again. Being friends was better than letting himself realise that no matter what he would always be unconditionally in love with Harry.

 "Eh- sure, friends." Harry puffed out his bottom lips and smiled as his phone buzzed in his pocket. With a sigh, he took it out. "That will be my one hour warning till the show, I guess I better start getting ready."

 "I'll get out of your hair." Louis stood up, fixing the front of his hair and wiping his face with his sleeve. He couldn't help himself when he walked over to the drinks Harry had poured and downed one of them in three gulps.

 He pulled away with a scrunched up face and a gasp of relief when his mouth was free of the sharp tasting wine. He turned back to Harry to see he had a laugh playing on his lips, he nose scrunched up out of fondness like it alway used to be whenever Louis did something and they were in public; out of eachothers reach.

 "I guess I'm still not a wine drinker." Louis poked his tongue out and shook his head viciously. "God that shit is too mature for me, Harold."

 The smile stayed on Harry's face as he pushed himself up from the sofa, approaching Louis. He stopped right besides him, one hand resting on the counter as he picked up his own cup with the other, bringing it to his lips. When he pulled away after a few sips they were stained red, looking so luscious that Louis had to clear his throat and look away quickly.

 "The trick is to drink it slowly." Harry smirked. As Louis was about to reply with some type of sarcasm Harry continued talking. "You're gonna stay for the show, right? Like Gem said, she'll get you a spot to watch from."

 Louis shouldn't. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." His eyes smiled for him as he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, the nerves of seeing Harry out there doing what he loves without the rest of the boys already overwhelming him.

 He couldn’t help but feel a sense of proudness. The way Harry spoke about his show and his band as he told Louis he absolutely had to meet them made Louis feel warm inside. Harry was loving what he was doing, even more so now than when they did it together.

 That part hurt.

 "Good." Harry spoke in a whisper as he placed his hands behind his back, eyes searching deep within Louis', daring him to not look away as he felt heat travelling up his neck to his cheeks.

 They seemed to have a silent conversation as they stared into each others eyes. Louis finally looked away, tears threatening to blurr his vision, when a hand encircled his. It was soft and warm, reassuring almost, as If the owner of that hand sensed his desperation.

 "Tell me what you really want, Lou."

 Unexpectedly, his other hand drifted to Louis' hip. It settled there and pulled him closer. Louis inhaled sharply against his warm chest, chiseled to perfection. _Must he be so perfect?_ He splayed his hand against it, intending to push him away, but instead leaving it there.

 Both their breathing quickened as Harry leaned down and began nuzzling Louis' neck with delicate kisses. So faint, they were whispers. Louis urged himself to push away, but couldn't. His limp body began to tremble uncontrollably as Harry angled his head slightly to the side. Louis felt his hot breath travel up Louis' neck to his ear.

 "Tell me what you really want." He repeated, Louis could hear the smirk in his hushed tone as he naturally gripped onto Harry's arms for support. His knees went weak.

 He was surprised to find his lips parting, unsure of what he was going to say until his lips began to move. "I want a proper goodbye, the one you should've given me the first time." He whispered back. Harry was so close that their breaths mingled.His heart fluttered inside of his chest.

 "I can give you that."

 Louis was completely unprepared for what came next. He thought he'd imagined all the possible outcomes of confronting Harry after so long. He knew that there were going to be tears, but he hadn't expected the warm feeling of Harry's lips pressed up against his own after so long.

 When he kissed Louis his brain lit on fire and the warmth that was once growing on his neck spread throughout his entire body. It was wrong, but it felt so good. Both of Harry's hands found their way to the bottom of Louis' back and held him close.

 Louis hesitantly pushes away and looked up at him with eyes full of worry. The swirls of emotion he saw there made him gasp. Lust and desire. Before Louis could ponder about it further and make his excuses to go, Harry yanked Louis back to him and covered his mouth in a — this time — more hungry kiss.

 As their lips moved together Louis felt like he was walking on air. It was magic the way their lips connected after so long and it felt like nothing had changed. Harry's mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than Louis could have ever wished for. When Harry teasingly nibbled on his bottom lip Louis opened his mouth with a low moan.

 Harry, accidentally or not, pressed his leg up against Louis' aching crotch. Louis gasped as he pulled his lips away from Harry's for a moment, but Harry chased the warmth and their tongues met again in the middle.

 "Haz..." Louis whispered into Harry's mouth, before grinding down onto Harry's leg. Harry seemed a bit taken back at Louis' sudden movement, but then Louis could feel a smile forming against his own lips.

 "Off." Was Harry's only reply as he tugged the shoulders of Louis' jacket down mid arm.

 Louis didn't hesitate, all but tearing the material off of him and chucking it somewhere behind him. His mouth didn't leave Harry's the whole time, an achievement of sorts.

 "Want it all off," His teeth banged against Louis' as he rushed to kiss him and talk at the same. "Wanna see you naked, wanna fuck you right here when anybody could walk in."

 Something in Louis' brain registered that he'd seen Harry lock the door behind his mum and sister early, so someone walking in wasn't really possible. He didn't dare sarcastically comment on it though; too lost in the way Harry's mouth tasted, how his hands felt exploring his body after so long, how the way he was talking in a lust filled tone in additions to the words that were leaving his mouth were one of the many things he'd missed.

 He didn't respond with words — Harry had slept with him enough times to know that Louis wasn't much of a talker in the bedroom, the only thing leaving his mouth was soft little moans and Harry's name — instead he pulled his own top over his head before his hands began to search for the bottom of Harry's in confirmation that he wanted that too.

 He pulled on the material of the mint t-shirt when he'd found in, pushing it up Harry's body with his hands on the inside touching Harry's muscular chest. Louis was pleasantly surprised to feel that every inch of his body was rock solid apart from his lovely hips.

 What they were doing was wrong. Despite the cliche of break up sex it always ended badly for at least one of the people involved. Emotions would be revealed. Someone would end up hurt. Life isn't a Disney movie where everyone gets their happy endings. There's no forever. So they both played dumb — even though they knew exactly what they were doing.

 Harry pulled away from Louis' lips for only a second to pull his shirt over his head, but in that second Louis allowed his eyes to flutter open and take in the difference of the man in front of him. His tattoos remained inked into his skin, the complimentary ones they’d got to show their love and strengh, now packed onto endless amounts of muscle that Louis reached out to run his hands over as Harry's mouth dipped in again, going to Louis' own torso instead of his mouth.

 Harry's plump lips started at his jaw, kissing, sucking and nibbling as they made their way to his neck next, then to his collarbones which Harry always told Louis he had a weakness for. He continued going down and down and down — gradually placing himself on his knees, not leaving an inch of Louis’ chest or belly unkissed — until he reached the soft patch of hair underneath Louis' belly button.

 "Still so beautiful for me." Harry spoke mainly to himself, hands gripping onto Louis' lady hips and pushing him back slightly till his bum hit against Harry's beauty table. All the bottles of various perfumes and hair products shook at the force, a few rattling over onto the floor.

 Harry placed one more kiss just above the band of Louis' bottoms before looking up from his position on the floor. His head was level with Louis' crotch and the devilish smirk on his face indicated that he was gonna take advantage of that. Louis locked his fingers in the back of Harry's hair with one hand; the other resting on the tabletop behind him for support. He could already feel his knees giving out.

 "Gonna take good care of you," Harry began, slowly and teasingly pulling on Louis' joggers along with his boxers. Harry never broke the eye contact — not intimidated like Louis. "gonna make up for all the lost time."

 Louis didn't know what he was insinuating. What was going to happen between them afterwards? This must've been a goodbye and Louis would be left to dwell on it for the next few years until he caved in and uselessly threw himself at Harry again after seeing him.

 That sad part was that Louis didn't mind being used. He was so past the point of being broken that he let people walk all over him.

 All thoughts left Louis' mind as Harry grew impatient and tugged all clothing down Louis' legs he held his hand out for Louis' to grip onto and he kicked the clothes off of his feet.

 "Missed this." Harry grunted as he stroked Louis' dick to its full hardness. It didn't take long till Louis was panting and Harry was lapping his tongue over the tip. "Loved driving you crazy all the time, didn't I?"

 Louis had missed it too.

 "Harry please." He whimpered, hips thrusting forward for a sense of relief. Harry's hands snapped up to them, pushing him back.

 "Don't rush me."

  _You have a show in less than a hour_ , Louis wanted to scream. He didn't want to remind Harry though, he wanted him to be late onto stage because he was too busy with Louis.

 He wanted to be put first.

 "Fine, not rushing." Louis hollowed his cheeks as Harry's hot breath trickled over him. "Take your time. 'M just very desperate..."

 The words made Harry snap into action, cupping Louis in his hands and quickly easing him down his throat. The relief of having something warm around his dick after so long almost made him come instantly.

 Harry's nose was touching the little patch of hair before either of them knew it, bobbing back and forth with a tight hold and making Louis squirm; a special skill of Harry's was having no gag reflex as he'd always claim.

 "Fuck, Haz, need you to stop," Louis was a whimpering mess. "I wanna come with you inside of me, don't want to go so early."

 "Trust me," Harry pulled off, a trail of saliva hanging from his mouth to Louis' tip. "you're gonna be coming with me inside of you as well. This is just round one, Tomlinson."

 Harry clearly thought Louis had more stamina than he actually did. He'd been out of business for a long time, after all. Harry's amazing stamina and need to go for a round two made Louis realise that he mustn't of slowed down on his sex life like Louis.

 The thought of someone else touching Harry in a way he once did sent a spark of jealously through out his body, bringing it to life as he looked down as Harry's big green eyes and pouty lips. Harry's tongue trailed up the underside vein on his cock and that was enough to set Louis off without warning. Harry didn't seem to mind the lack of, catching Louis' heavy load in his mouth and pumping him in his hand to the point it began to hurt.

 When Louis hissed out of sensitivity Harry's hand stopped and he swallowed with his eyes locked with Louis’ like the sex crazed devil he was. He took each of his fingers into his mouth and sucked till they were clean. Louis felt himself already growing hard again.

 "Turn around for me."

 Louis did as told like he always did when it came to Harry and his desire for Louis' body. He bit down on his bottom lips as he slowly turned, cheeks growing hot with sudden shyness when Harry's hands grabbed onto the plumpness around his arse with a deep grunt. His hands flew forward to the counter now in front of him; arching his back knowing Harry liked when he put on a show.

 "Fuck." Harry mumbled as he placed a kiss to the small of Louis' back before pushing himself up and running his hands up Louis sides. It tickled and he squirmed slightly. "Don't move." Harry whispered into his shoulder, bitting down, then pushing off of him to go over to his many bags on the floor near his suits.

 "Harry." Louis whimpered as he closed his eyes and leant further on the table. His teeth clasped around his forearm as his hole clenched needly due to the cold air and lack of penetration.

 "Hey," Harry said, tugging on his hair slightly so his mouth left his own skin. "don't mark yourself up, that's for me and me only."

 Again, Harry words had him frustrated in more ways than one. He was frustrated that Harry was claiming him as his own after he'd abandoned him. He was also frustrated that Harry wasn't inside of him yet.

 "Haz, please, I need it." Louis whispered as he pushed his bum towards Harry who stood behind him, probably wearing a smirk.

 Louis heard the flick of a lid and he was relieved to know that Harry hadn't changed his mind. "Love when you beg me, so needy."

 "I am." He wasn't going to deny it.

 "Gonna make y'feel better." Harry muttered as the flick of a lid was sounded again. The bottle was then placed next to Louis' head and he sighed happily when he got confirmation that it was his favourite brand of lube.

 Louis was fussy...

 Without any further warning Harry eased his pointer finger past Louis' tight rim; making Louis gasp as he pushed into the contact. Harry didn't stop till he reached the furthest he could, slowly and teasingly pulling it all the way out before sliding it back in again.

 "Fuck, more Harry."

 "Want you to remember every part of this." Harry replied. "Did the last guy who fucked you give it to you this good? Did you think of me? Every time I fucked someone I thought of all the times we used to go at it on the daily."

 Louis didn't reveal that the last person who was inside of him was Harry. He had a little amount of one night stands after they broke up, but he never wanted any of them inside him. He knew they wouldn't be able to take care of him like Harry, so he always made sure that the person he'd be spending the night with was alright with being a bottom.

 He never got the same relief.

 "Always thought of you." Louis panted as Harry stuck his middle finger in along side the first. "During sex. When I touched myself."

 Harry's ring rubbed at his hole and he gasped as Harry whispered into his hair. "Good boy, taking it so well, you'll be ready soon."

 Louis loved the praise, fucking himself back onto Harry's two fingers that moved in and out. They were soon met by a third which had Louis screaming out a loud shriek.

 Harry’s fingers stopped inside of him, tips of them pushing pressure onto his most sensitive spot. Harry bent forwards to Louis' ear when the boy tried to grind against him. "Gonna have to be quiet, Lou. That or we're gonna have to stop. I don't want that."

 "Please don't stop." Louis shook his head, reaching out for Harry's free hand and bringing it up to cover his mouth. "I'll be good." His voice was muffled by the large palm.

 "I know you will." Harry nibbled on his ear lobe and tugged on it slightly as his fingers worked up their speed again. "Think you're ready for me yet?"

 "Yes, so ready." Louis nodded frantically as his hole clasped around nothing again and the sound of Harry discarding his trousers was heard behind of him.

 He pushed himself up and slowly made a move to turn around with his glazed over eyes. Harry was staring at him with a packet in his hand, his old main trousers were kicked to the side; joining the ever growing pile.

 Louis resisted the urge to gasp as Harry got ever closer and rubbed his body against Louis'. He brought their lips together once again as a ripping sound invading Louis' senses.

 He felt Harry’s hand snake between their already sweaty bodies, grabbing onto his own erection and sliding the thin material of protection over it with Louis' hands on his shoulders.

 Louis unexpectedly squeaked out a giggle into Harry's mouth when the boys hands dropped to the back of his thighs, lifting him up and sliding him onto the counter. On instinct Louis' legs wrapped smugly around Harry's hips whilst Harry reached out to the lube and coated himself in a generous amount.

 "Fuck, been wanting this for so long." Harry muttered as he abandoned the bottle and placed on hand on the small of Louis' back to pull him in even closer. With his other hand he guided his dick to Louis' sensitive hole, grazing the tip over it teasingly.

 "Harry, please!" Louis whimpered, arms coming to hold onto his shoulders for support. He pecked once at his lips before pulling away and scooting his arse forwards.

 Harry slowly pressed in, Louis' hole hesitantly clenching up around his tip as Harry eased himself past it. The unfamiliarity of having something so large instead of him — he'd never say those words to Harry, not needing to add to his ego — after so long was extreme.

 Louis leant forward and dug his fingers into Harry's arms as his pink lips locked on around his pulsating neck. His tongue dirtily caught any sweat around Harry's jaw.

 "Keep the affection under my neck, baby." Harry smirked as he bottom out inside of Louis. "Wouldn't want anybody in the audience to notice marks littering my skin."

 "Suit yourself," Louis whispered against Harry's sharp structured face and nibbling on his soft cheek. He pulled Harry further into him with the hands on his back and let out a moan as he pushed against his walls. "I for one would love for people to notice that- that you're not as innocent as you t- try to act."

 "I am innocent." He said as he slowly pulled all the way out. "So incredibly innocent..." He forcefully slammed his way back in, right to the spot he was at before, not persuading Louis of his innocence at all.

 "You're filthy," Louis' head rolled back as Harry began to snap his hips forwards and backwards. "you know what you want and just how to get it. You've done naughty things, Harry Styles, do I have to remind you?"

 "Please refresh my memory." Harry played along, hand coming to rest around the side of Louis neck, dangerously close to the front. He slammed himself inside once again.

 "All the dirty things you've made me try because you're so filthy minded." Louis smirked when Harry's large hand came around to his jaw, his thumb slipping over his lips and Louis sucking on it teasingly. "Remember that time we were visiting your family and you took me up to your room whilst everyone was eating dinner directly under us? Remember how you pinned me down into the mattress and fucked me so hard? Remember how you'd gotten so worked up because you loved when I wore knickers and I had my little black bow ones on at the time?" Harry let out a grunt as he buried his head in Louis' shoulder. "Remember how you told me I wasn't allowed to make any noise but I did anyway and you slapped my arse for it and come all over my chest because I didn't listen to you? Remember when Gemma called us out about hearing your old bed squeaking and rocking the next day and it only made you wanna take me for round four because you're fucking filthy and loved the fact that people could hear what you were doing to me with all my little whines and moans?"

 That was just one of the times.

 "Point proven," Harry laughed deeply and it made both of their bodies vibrate. "it's all your fault, though, for driving me crazy."

 "It's okay, you know I loved when you used to manhandle me and take care of me at the same time. Always have. Always will." Louis said, mouth sucking around Harry's Adam's apple as his hands scratched down his chest.

 "Fuck, feel so good Lou."

 Pale fingers threaded through Louis' messy hair, digging in against Louis' scalp and forcing his head away from his neck, a stern look on Harry's face. He cried out, desperate pleas for more lost in a nonsense ramble of noise.

 Harry understood and gave him more anyway, hips slapping loudly against the blue eyed boy's round ass, burying his cock as deep as it would go with every pass. He fairly panted as he hammered into the shorter man.

 Louis clawed and grasped at whatever part of Harry he could get a hold of. His legs trembled around Harry's hips as his prostate got pressed on with every thrust; wrecking him with fierce jolts of pure pleasure. His eyes were squeezed tight, and threatened to well with tears from the overwhelming sensation, feeling the man he once loved plunging deep into his body. His dick remained untouched, standing between them, yet he knew that if he touched himself Harry wouldn't be happy.

 Sweat started to form between their bodies, making Louis' prick slippery, rubbing between the both of them. It felt like no time had passed since they began and Louis was already on the verge of coming, he didn't want his last moment with Harry to be close to ending, but he couldn't even be ashamed because of how good it all felt at that second.

 Harry lazily kissed Louis as his rhythm started to get fast and rapid. He reached down to get ahold of Louis' cock. He started tugging, no practice to it as he dragged his lube wet hand over the skin.

 Louis wanted to feel bad, but there was no way that he could. With the ache in his arse and the spark of having his dick played with, Louis' orgasm had hit him at once and out of nowhere. Still grinding down on Harry's dick, Louis moaned out into the room, come spurting all over the two of them messily.Louis collapsed forward onto Harry's chest, allowing himself to he fucked through his orgasm, the slapping of skin and their sharp cries punctuating the otherwise silent room.

 Soon Harry was chasing his own release and tensing up inside of Louis' sensitive hole. His hands gripped Louis' plush arse and pushed the boy to him once before coming into the condom with a loud grunt.

 They both panted, Louis' eyes closed and Harry still halted inside of him. His head was on Harry's dripping shoulder and he couldn't help but fold himself more into the warmth of being in Harry's embrace for one last time.

 "I think you should wear the white jacket with the black bottoms and turtle neck." Louis fessed up his earlier thoughts when he opened his eyes after moments of silence to see the suits hung up across the room. "I like it better, plus you'll be needing it to hide the marks I left. By accident, of course."

 "By accident." He laughed before pushed slowly away from Louis to take his head in his hands. He pushed Louis' fridge out of his eyes. "I'll wear it for you."

 "I'd appreciate that." Louis smirked, looking down at his lap. "I'd also appreciate it if you pulled out of me now, it's aching."

 "Right, sorry." Harry laughed again. He was always so happy and bubbly after sex. At least his fans were going to be guaranteed a good show in less that an hour.

 Harry picked up his own t-shirt and instead of putting it over his own head he walked over to Louis and slipped it on. It was big on him. One of the many things Harry once loved about Louis  

 Louis expected to feel awkward. Instead he felt calm; a sudden sense of relief taking over.

 If it was goodbye, it was a good one.

 "I guess I better go shower and put on my outfit." Harry sighed, pulling on his own bottoms before picking up Louis' boxers and slipping them over his legs for him. His hands clutched onto Louis' hips and helped him off of the counter, pulling his boxers all the way up for his and snapping the band against his skin. "You're welcome to stick around for the show, like Gem and I have said already."

 "I would like that." Louis smiled, Harry's thumbs smoothing slow circles into Louis' hips. He always took care of Louis.

 "Good." Harry smiled, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Louis' forehead. His lips lingered there for far too long and when he pulled away Louis could tell what he was thinking just from the look in his eyes.

  _Are we okay_? Louis wanted to know too.

 "Do you... maybe wanna do something after the show? Calvin's here waiting for me and he really wants to go to some bars."

 Harry's lips tightened and Louis knew an answer he wouldn't like was coming. He prepared himself. "I actually have to be off to Canada tonight for my next show."

 Of course he had to, he was touring the world after all. Louis' high still came crashing down though as he tried to fake a smile.

 "Oh, right." Louis said with a small nod. "Is it wrong of me to say I don't want you to go?"

 "Not at all." Harry shook his head. "I don't want to go, it's been so nice to see you again after so long, and I'm glad you came. I'm glad we got to hear each other out and do... other things."

 Louis hated the sinking feeling in his stomach. He'd hardly eaten that day but he felt as though his food was about to come out when the lights in the room began to give him a headache.

 He didn't want to go as long as three years again without talking to someone who was once his best friend, before all the kissing and love confessions were revealed. What ever they were now, friends, acquaintances, Louis didn't want Harry to walk out of his life. He didn't want to let Harry walk out of it either.

 Not again.

 "I don't want to loose you again." He admitted, coming to terms that it was better out than in. Keeping his emotions locked in had destroyed him once already.

 "Lou," Harry whispered, wiping under Louis' eyes. "Don't be silly. You'll see me again."

 They could only hope.

 "Promise?" He sounded pathetic.

 "I promise you, Louis Tomlinson, that I'm not gonna ever leave you again." Harry smiled sadly, looking straight into Louis' eyes. "You're my best friend, you always will be."

 Best friends that were once in love.

 Once.

 Louis nodded slowly, leaning his forehead against Harry's lips and savouring the last of their moment. This was his heaven.

 Louis never believed in love at first sight but for some reason, he felt something different when they first met. The more he got to know Harry, the more his feelings intensified. And when Harry first smiled at him in their shared flat, he knew that he was in trouble.

 That was the first time he fell in love.

 Louis also didn't know it was possible to fall in love with someone over and over again. The sight of Harry here with him now, arms wrapped around his body and lips pressed to his forehead, had him falling all over again.

 Louis already missed him.

 There's a piece of his heart that has always belonged to Harry. As weeks, days and months go by that piece of his heart will only beat when he thinks about Harry — all the memories they have together, all the days they spent tangled in each others arms, the times they laughed so hard neither of them could breath.

 One day, someone else might take over that piece of his heart, but at that moment it was for Harry and Harry only.

 Sometimes it's important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back. Louis believed the same applied to people. It was for the best.

 He will never forget Harry. If one day in ten or twenty years someone asked him who Harry Styles was he would not only reply that he was his band mate and first ever love, he would tell that that Harry is and will always be his soulmate and best friend.

 "I love you, Lou." Harry whispered into his hair, arms holding him close.

 "I love you too, Harry. Always."

 Those words. They were all that mattered. Maybe they’d work out, maybe they’d get their fairytale ending. Or maybe they wouldn’t; but either way they’d of loved each other through it all.

**Author's Note:**

> I might do another one shot based on the same events and universe, but maybe a few years later so you can all see what happens? Let me know if you want that! 
> 
> Follow me on twitter @vinylghosts for updates if you’d like. Note that the L is actually an I because someone claimed the name for a saved account :)))


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